trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
