thus making me awesome and them whores
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
