He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
