I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
