just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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