Michael Bay diarrhea
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize