last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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