is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize