And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
