She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
