We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
