just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
