my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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