dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize