So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
