This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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