exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
