I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
