I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
