I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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