Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
whose ass print is on the piano?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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