Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
40s are totally the cure
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
