good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm like, not good at living.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
