right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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