my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
This is the high leading the old right now
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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