I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
