my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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