Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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