I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
