His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
