My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
