I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Im part way to drunk.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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