Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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