moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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