Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
