Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
