I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
