it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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