dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
