I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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