i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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