The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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