remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
