Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
