I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
