so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
