I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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