I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize