saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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