he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
