So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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