I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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