bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
