I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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