1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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