We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you had me at cake vodka
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
