PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
