so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
