We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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