Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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