I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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