Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
