judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
