jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
