It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
