Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
