Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
