She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize