they said they heard you say put it in my butt
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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