After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
