Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
