The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
