friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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